Maybe and after all, is maybe

I am a type of person who has so much doubts in my life.

I didn't like to over think of something but I always DO.

Even though I often make quick decision regardless of the consequences, I do think of it sometimes.

And dreams that I dreamt recently, made me ponder for awhile...maybe..not awhile.

I have no ideas on how these dreams supposed to be interpreted (*too much AR)..or maybe after all, it is just a dream. My bestie said, it might be a sign. Yeah, maybe. But signs to what?

I am confused.

Sometimes, I just pray that these weird dreams would not come to me again. Coz, most of the times, it turns up so real that I would need a slap! 

So tired to think of these things again and again.

Feeling like nothing

Feeling like am nothing to u.
=)

Tired

Sometime, I just like to keep silent.
It does not mean that I am rude.
I just want to peace myself from this hectic life,at least, a while.

Can't you see am forcing myself to smile and give response to you?
Can't you see it?
Don't say it.
I believe you nvr realise it.
Coz, 
you only care for yourself.
I know this is the way how you bring yourself in front of ppl, including me.
Don't give me dumb excuses like " I only act like this infront of you."
So what?
Do I have to gv you like " awww, really? " what do you expect?

Seriously,
I know , I know.
But did you know about me?
My feelings?
Ever thought about how your words, your actions affect someone's feelings?
Please be matured and grown up.
I am tired for being treating you like a kid.
I don't spoil ppl, for your information.
When I am nice to you, please appreciate.
And when I don't, I mean it.
I have the limits. As you knw it. and you shud know it now!

I don't like holding grudge towards someone.That's not me. But please,
respect others, like how you respect yourself.
RESPECT!!!!

这个年头

这个年头，过的有点累。

总会想些有的没的。

总会很讨厌自己，很讨厌自己，很讨厌很讨厌自己！！！！

有时候，真的好像一个人静一静。

回到以前那样，

一个人的。

我有心事，

可以跟我最亲的人说。

可是现在，

只有我一个人懂。

正慢慢习惯一个人，

因为太多事情的发生，

让我看清楚了你，

也看清楚我自己。

原来，

我是那么的不堪一击。

我明白，

我做的这些也许对我们不公平。

可是，

也希望你能明白，

我的苦衷。

所谓无风不起浪。

一个巴掌实拍不响的。

我不是你想象中那么好。

我也有邪恶的一面。

我很自私，

我很无情。

我。。。。也只是平凡人一个。

别把我想得太完美。

那真的是罪过，罪过。

我们不可能像以前那样了。

失去的天真，

那些笑容，

那些时光。

都被锁在时间的轮里。

只能在伤感的时候，拿来回忆，回忆。

人生本来就是这么一回事。

没有人注定要跟谁白头到老，

也没有人注定要跟谁仇恨到底。

尼玛，

我留给我自己的时间都不够了，

那还有闲情去管你妹的事。

滚边去~~~

我很羡慕傻瓜，因为他们什么都不懂。

是真的什么都不懂~~

所谓，才能那么放肆的笑，去做让自己快乐的事。

我也是傻瓜，

就是给了你机会伤害我自己。

有人说，

找个你爱的人，

好过找个爱你的人。

我开始相信这句话了。

因为，

女人，始终都要被人疼的。

所以，

现在开始，

我不再爱我爱的人了。

我爱,

爱我的人。

 

Hopeless

It's proven again.
Yes, I won't trust you anymore.
And Yes, I won't trust you all anymore.
You all are the same.

And u broke my heart again and again.
When I started to build trust on you,
you destroy it again and again.
and eventually,
You don't deserve my trust anymore.

Thanks for making me who I am today.
The one that standing right infront you.

Everything that touch certainly will die.
Everything that come sure will go away one day.
As I always say, time passes, things change, people too.

And yes, I am a fool. But I have learnt. Thank you for everything. 

#MoveOn.

Now then, I realised. Thank you.

I admit I thk a lot and it put me on bad mood sometimes.
But by thinking, am able to reflect esp on myself.

This year just started and I could sense the tense of the upcoming days.
Day by day, 
I learn something new.
Day by day,
I realise who they are.
Day by day,
I realise who I am.

and finally, I understand how things work.

We are forced to change. Nothing is going to be the same, like always. 
Things come and definitely will go someday.
I always think that we come to this world as a loner,
and will back to ground as lones as well.
So, I started not to care much. Believe me, the more you care, the more you get hurt. It nvr fail.
We are just human and we often forget that we are just human.
Don't expect too high on others, but yourself.
The most and only valuable asset that everyone possesses is himself/herself.
So, love ourselves more. Listen to our heart rather than ppl voice.

Now then I realised,
we are not the same anymore.
We argue, we fight, but all in silence.
You know what? Silence, in fact, is the loudest cry of a woman.

To make things look good, stay perfect. We choose to avoid telling our feelings, our thoughts. 
Because, its seemed so wrong to ruin the prefectioness. 
I know what I know, but I am not sure if am supposed to know.
And for sure, I have no ideas on others knowings as am not interested.
I miss the old me. When I totally could get myself out from all the rumours and gossips. 
The insensitivity towards others. That's part of me.

Don't...

tell

love

trust

too much.

Ultimately, we are the one will get hurt. 

#Tiredwiththisnonsenseworld#

Appreciate, now.

Seize the moment now.
and be grateful with what we have.
The future is too far for us to think about. The uncertainty.

Thank you my love. =)