Friday, August 22, 2014

The Years

The years that I have gone through, neither too easy nor too hard.
All this while, I think am a strong girl, in and out.
Certainly, there were times where things or ppl around me really put me down.
But, eventually, I was able to stand up and said "What the hell is this? I am strong girl. I no need things to put me down, I mean, there is nothing to stop me."
However, deep inside my heart, I wish I am REALLY A STRONG GIRL.
Things turned up like far beyond my expectation.
I was too arrogant that I think I was able to get through or gain everything that I wanted in my life.
But LIFE seemed  not to be defined in this way.
The years that I have spent, the works that I done, the efforts that I paid , the joy that I gained and the tears that I shed suddenly meant nothing to me at this moment.
Maybe you will ask me why? I have come to this far and only left few months to go. I am conscious about the situation. I know I shouldn't give up. I know. Rationally thinking, I know what should I do after this. But, the disappointment and grief  are things that I couldn't bear. I am ashamed with myself. I blamed no one but myself. My heart is now taking over my brain. I can't think properly. I am totally in LOST!
Reflection, reflection and endless of reflection. I am not the best but honestly speaking I am not the worst as well. Thanks God, there is another chance, the LAST CHANCE for me to change everything. I wish to get myself back soon. And I really WISH for that!
I am just a human. I bleed whenever I fall down.
and I am praying to GOD that, keep giving me strength and wisdom to continue this journey, now and forever.

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